«Black and white shades of depression I» PROJECT

A project is a task to be completed. As a thesis on self-portrait, I touched on the topic of depression. She comes and stays with you for the time being, until one day you start digging or ignoring yourself. There are several ways — to succumb or fight. And sometimes, depression is like a gene, as if implanted in you and gives the worldview its unique coloring. Maybe this is part of the individual grain of creativity, which others do not. 

What is depression, in one form or another, each of us knows. Most often, it is simply impossible to translate it into words in an understandable way. Therefore, I will not describe my feelings. Let each of those who read this text remember these moments of their life when they look at my pictures from the school of photography, where I chose this particular topic of depression for my thesis. After all, it is close to each of them I wanted to express it not with words, but with something more materialized. Sometimes depression can tear to pieces, sometimes blind. Sometimes you are like crazy, but at another moment you just want to be silent and spend all day in silence. It can even reach an intolerable state, and you start to torment yourself with a stream of thoughts. 

Inspired by photos of Edward Honaker, I decided that you can work on your photos, just as the environment around me affects my psyche. Photography is me, my feeling. The deformation or «manipulation» over it is an external influence. 

After the completion of the project, it became easier. Self portrait is digging in yourself. You find, correct, show, analyze and rule something again. But it is important to understand that this work is not some kind of art therapy, it will not help to cope with depression, but it will help to look at yourself from the side and show the world a piece of its wrong side.